How to get to free market

September 10, 2014

Rutland Herald

Re: Randy Brock’s Sunday funny:

A man and his family stopped their car in front of the general store and, spying an old Vermonter, called out, “We’re moving into town. Can you give us directions to where we can buy health insurance?”

The old man thought for a moment and said, “You just keep on through town ’til you come to the Free Market.

“It’s only got three stalls nowadays, because the gummint says insurers can’t pass profits on to stockholders, like they do in most other states. Communism, if you ask me. Still, that doesn’t keep them from spending $3.2 million or more paying their top executives and the trustees on their boards.”

“I hope you have money, because they won’t talk to you if you don’t. You don’t have to worry about pre-existing conditions, because the collectivists in the statehouse force them to take you anyway.

“But there’s no guarantee any of them will provide access to a provider who will deal with your cancer or life-threatening immunodeficiency — the Free Market insurers can’t exclude you, but they can exclude the care you need. So if you’re sick, I recommend you get the Brock policy which is free — it advises you just to die quick.”

The old man continued, “We have a proud tradition here in Vermont. We insist on spending half a billion dollars more for health care than we have to, to deny care to people whose jobs Wall Street has seized, to have kids grow up with rotted teeth, to have grown-ups stay sick in order to have enough money for food and rent. You wouldn’t want to mess that up, would you? That’s what the Free Market’s all about.”

CHUCK GREGORY

Springfield